How To Gain Five Pounds in One Night…

…In the form of the Velveeta macaroni and cheese the kids couldn’t finish at dinnertime, a few of their lonely leftover Mickey Mouse shaped chicken nuggets, three Entenmann’s chocolate mini doughnuts (two rather than one, because the word… mini means it is completely acceptable to inhale more than one per serving), the head and right ear of a white chocolate Easter bunny, the last of the Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies in order to prevent them from going stale and having to be thrown away, and a Chobani Apple Cinnamon yogurt to be sure I fulfilled my dairy requirement, but more because it eased my overeating guilt to end the day with a somewhat healthy food item.

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