Because today alone I bitched about…

My child eating chocolate ice cream with her fingers, my dog passing gas potent enough to be bottled and used for nuclear warfare, my pants feeling a bit too snug when I put them on, my daughters incop…orating jumping off of their dresser into their Alvin and the Chipmunks themed dance party, the cats using the drapes as their scratching post, my husband reminding me I am nearing 35 years of age, running out of shampoo mid-shower, and realizing at nine o’clock PM that what was to be tomorrow’s milk for the morning cereal has gone sour. If I can maintain this level of bitching every day…I’ll be twenty pounds lighter by next week. I think I can, I think I can…

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