Tis the season for germs, snotty noses and co-pays. It’s time to once again break out your trusty Pediatrician Frequent Visitor Rewards Card. Please see below for this year’s line up of fantastic gifts you and your child can earn this germ-infested winter season in exchange for your repeated weekly visits to the pediatrician…
– On your 1st visit: A free second sticker and/or Dum Dum lollipop
– On your 2nd visit: A free bottle of grape or cherry flavored children’s Tylenol
– On your 3rd visit: A free box of swabs to perform strep throat cultures at home
– On your 4th visit: A free ear or temporal scanner thermometer
– On your 5th visit: A “no wait” card to bypass others when the waiting room is full
– On your 6th visit: Free, 24-hour access to the pediatrician’s personal cell phone
– On your 7th visit: A free prescription pad, since due to your last six visits to the office during the past two weeks, you are now fully capable of both diagnosing, prescribing for and medicating your child accordingly without the help of a trained pediatrician.