Dear Author Of This Book Who Sure As Hell Ain’t A Mom Who Ever Attempted To Conquer A Trip To The Supermarket With Kids En Tow,
Upon reading your book, I couldn’t help but notice how the Mom is smiling from ear to ear while grocery shopping with her little ones instead of on the verge of a nervous breakdown as she prays for the strength to make it through another family field trip to the supermarket.
I also couldn’t help but make note of the fact the daughter is willingly and happily carrying her own belongings instead of incessantly whining for her Mom to hold them for her because suddenly they’re just too heavy for her.
I also noticed how nicely the infant son is sitting in the shopping cart instead of attempting daredevil stunts to climb out, scale the side of the cart and single handedly destroy an end cap display of canned corn.
It also caught my eye that the cart is neatly filled with healthy, nutritious foods and neither of the children has succeeded in strategically hiding a package of Double Stuff Oreos, a box of Fruity Pebbles and a Snickers bar in it.
Although I do get quite a kick out of your positive attitude and lofty thoughts on shopping with kids, I feel it is my duty as a mom who would rather give birth without an epidural than go food shopping with my children, to let you know that your book sits upon a throne of lies. File that shit under fiction.
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