The Real Status Update…

ststuaupdates
What Their Facebook Status Says:
“What a wonderful day my perfect little angels and I had today. We all awoke super early so we could get out and enjoy a perfect day filled with rainbows, sunshine, butterflies, and unicorns. We had so much fun prancing through a field of perfect daisies, discussing such thought-provoking topics such as why the sky is blue and how come puppies are so cute. At bedtime, we leisurely chatted about how absolutely fabulous and perfect our day will be again tomorrow in the land of make believe.”

What Their Facebook Status Really Means:
“I woke up to two children screaming at each other like rabid animals over which tv show to watch at 5:58 am. Again. I spent the rest of the day refereeing thier constant battles, cleaning up after their messes, doing their laundry, taming their countless meltdowns and tantrums, answering all of their 457,339 questions about such topics as, why they are not allowed to eat chocolate cake for breakfast everyday, why Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up, and why girls have a pagina but boys have that stick thingy with those two round things under it. When my prayers were answered and bedtime finally rolled around, I was too damn tired to discuss what tomorrow will bring for us, but all signs point to an instant replay of today’s bullshit because that’s how us not-so-perfect moms roll in the land of motherhood.”

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