Top Ten Reasons I am Secretly Panicking About Giving Birth To A Baby Boy…
1. He has a weiner.
2. I don’t even know where the hell the boy section is in Target.
3. I have compiled a list of twenty-seven girl names I love. I don’t even have a list of boy names but if I did it would have zero names on it.
4. He has a weiner.
5. I know all there is to know about princesses, Justin Beiber, fairies, and have finally mastered the art of recreating the latest braid hairstyles. I know nothing about and have absolutely no interest in learning about Thomas the Train, Star Wars, G.I. Joe and bugs.
6. I have an attic filled with bins that are overstuffed with baby clothes. Every single item of clothing and matching accessory is some shade of pink and/or purple and most likely has glitter on it.
7. I’m already having nightmares and cold sweats about the whole being attacked by streams of piss during diaper changes thing I’ve been hearing so much about amongst other mommies of boys.
8. He has a weiner.
9. Boy clothes only seem to come in navy blue, baby blue, red, or black and rarely come with adorable, fun accessories such as shimmery headbands, flower hair clips, and sparkly shoes. BORING.
It’s a Boy!