Mommy’s Official List of The Top Ten Worst Birthday Party Favors…

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Mommy’s Official List of The Top Ten Worst Birthday Party Favors…
1. A HARMONICA…that my child can and will play extremely loud and with every ounce of energy they can muster up, while I attempt to maintain what is left of my sanity.
2. A BLUE RING POP…that my child will eat and manage to cover their mouth, hands, fingers, and clothes in blue stains that will take days, if not weeks, to finally fade.
3. PLAY DOH…that my child will smoosh into their carseat, my carseats, their hair and ultimately, into their mouth.
4. LIP GLOSS…that my child will use to apply generous gobs of to their entire face necessitating me to wash their face not one, not two, but fourteen times to remove it all.
5. WHISTLE…that my child will blow, repeatedly, leaving with me severe ringing in both of my ears that will annoy me until the next damn birthday party rolls around.
6. KAZOO…that my child will whine about not knowing how to use and then not stop for hours once they finally figure out how to make that annoying humming noise from hell.
7. CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTER CANDY…that my child will have no choice but to surrender to me and my peanut buttery chocolate loving belly and completely sabotage my latest diet.
8. BUBBLES…that my child will undoubtedly wind up spilling on themselves, their shoes, and a large portion of the backseat of the car.
9. CHEWING GUM…that my child will chew for approximately two minutes until it loses it’s flavor, forget to place in a wrapper and then step in it guaranteeing the floor of the car will never be the same.
10. A BAG OF CHEESE DOODLES…that my child will eat and then use the neon orange powdery residue on their fingers to grafitti every surface they come in contact with for the next three hours.

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