Camryn: “Hey Mom, I made this heart with my initials in it so if you miss me while I am at school today, you can look at and be reminded of me.”
Mommy: “Thanks, Cam. That is very sweet of you. I love it.” (mumbles to self just low enough so the budding artist cannot hear) “Or…if I am really missing you and the drawing just doesn’t cut it, I can always look at the dirty pajamas you left on your… bedroom floor, the dirty breakfast dishes you left on the kitchen table, the trail of Littlest Pet Shop toys you left in the hallway, the glob of toothpaste you left on the bathroom counter, the crayon marks you left on the table, the stuffed animal kangaroo you left lying next to the front door after I told you to put it back in the house because kangaroos are not permitted in school…”
Camryn: “What did ya say, Mom?”
Mommy: “Have a great day, sweetheart. I’ll miss you.”
Where's the f*#king mommy manual?!? 